Grab a chair and something to drink, this is a long report!
After a 4-hour drive, I arrived at EMR Paintball Park in New Milford, Pennsylvania at about 10pm the night before the weekend’s Viper 26-hour event “Apocalypse Now”. The game would loosely play out events from the movie of the same name, and we were on the Colonel Kurtz team against the Blue team's Colonel Kilgore, with a small but elite third party team ready to play the VC and shoot at everybody!. Tanks, helicopter props, medics, demolitions experts, engineers, and special missions to be completed by each team would be just some of the highlights of the weekend.
As I drove in, a full moon overlit the campfires and lanterns of the bunkhouses and tents laid out like a small town, and helped me see enough to pitch my tent in my campsite. I was camped next to my fellow ERSA Loaded Crows, with the Red Raiders not too far away across from us. Aaron, Jason, and the other Crows invited me to watch some of the NJ Nam DVD, and I turned in for the night just as the Star Wars Imperial March heralded the arrival of Matt, my fellow ERSA member in the Crows who had helped me out so much at the last Liberty game.
The next morning we were up early, having what breakfast we had brought. I helped Patrick “Warhammer” Galarza set up his tent before setting up my own gear in time for our Red Team briefing.
Lesson 1: In certain circumstances, a great way for people to remember your name (and where you live) is by having your own personal porta-john.
Our general was Barney, “The Purple Guy”, who certainly dressed colorfully. He and Doug “NJHusker” of the Red Raiders, were quickly sorting us into battalions that would run base security for our Fort Worr or run separate missions. I had brought a LAW Nerf launcher for taking out helicopters and bunkers, and it was quickly requisitioned into our base. I also met up with Adrian “Spyda Monkie” Suarez for the first time. He was an aspiring TAP, and I had looked forward to having him there (but I quickly lost sight of him after the game started and was never able to catch up with him again).
We had our pre-game safety briefing at 10:30am. The EMR field was well-organized, and the chrono-line was never very long. Our paint was immediately available, and the air-fill station was very efficient. The ID’s were entertaining; my name was Jin Yun, and I was a private in the Montagnard army under Colonel Kurtz (Barney), ready to fight the war our way and give the other Americans what for. I grabbed my gear and walked up to our Fort with the Crows to get the battle rolling.
As a cannon signaled the beginning of the game, the Crows and I took off out the back door and began working our way around the perimeter of the playing field, which was through the woods and up a steep mountain trail towards the Blue Team’s command post. It was a long, slow climb, looking for the Blue Team every step of the way. We occasionally came upon pockets of them, and quickly shot them out or drove them back as we continued our push forward. I soon found myself separated from the Crows, up at the top of the hill with the Professor and some other Red players, and we took control of the “Nha Trang Firebase” in an open field next to the Blue CP. The Professor was in possession of two mission cards, stating he had to hold the base until a ref got to him. We did exactly that, holding off Blues from their CP until the ref finally arrived. As we signed off on the mission, Brandon of the Red Raiders showed up, and we began advancing across the field towards the CP itself, but we were quickly surrounded and ambushed. I had been out on the field for 2 hours, the longest stretch I had ever had in a single play.
After a quick break I found Merc42, who told me the LAW wasn’t working well (leak). I put it back at the campsite, and we headed over to the central area of the playing field, which was dominated by speedball obstacles. I flushed a Blue sniper hiding in the grass from behind, then joined the rest of the team on the front lines. Our tank was duking it out with Nerf rockets against the larger Blue tank, and holding its own well. A Blue helicopter prop with 8 players went past us, and I trailed them to where they landed in a clearing behind the Red position. I took the crew out; two surrendered and the rest I had to shoot; one of them hit me right in the jaw.
Back in the game, I went back around our CP and up the hill again with some other Red players to prevent a Blue rush, but we were quickly overwhelmed without reinforcements, and I was taken out again.
By then it was about 4:30pm, and our teams were getting ready for the “dinner battle”, a fast-paced rush in a speedball court. We also heard that the Blues had tried their trademarked “Ride of the Valkyries” gunship attack earlier, only to find there were no Red players at the area they wasted their attack on. The Crows and I were geared up in time, but we just ran out of steam, especially after Stiffmeister and Matt pulled out cold-cuts. We decided to relax and listen to the “Battle of Saigon” from the campsite, which put the Red team ahead.
Lesson 2: Freeze-dried food has its place, but tailgating-style food tastes better and is waaaay more fun.
At 7:30pm I was ready for my first night game. The playing field was reduced to the speedball fields in the center, with the woods out of play to prevent injuries in the dark. I worked my way up to the front lines and began working with the Red team to take control of a village arena, but the Blues, led by Team Thunderstruck, owned the night and we could not advance. When most of us were out, I launched two smoke grenades to cover our retreat, and we began to regroup about 100 yards back. I ran into a small Red patrol that had a Blue player cornered in a bunker. I had them aim high while I rushed his position, and I quickly surrendered him out. We then began an escort mission for a Red player who had to advance to a certain point along the tree line. I took point, but when I turned a corner I ran right into a silent Blue stalker, who nailed me right in the side.
By then it was getting too dark to see, and I had no light and was out of paint. I went back to camp and began to relax with Matt, Aaron, Jason, Patrick, and the rest of the Crows and some Red Raiders, trading stories and having burgers and chips for dinner. It began to get really cold, and Patrick and I went in a desperate search for long-sleeved shirts. We found some at the store, and were a little more comfortable after, but were still shivering by the time the game wound down towards midnight. The sky was beautiful, though, and someone put on a small fireworks display on the other side of the field. I could get used to more camping trips while paintballing.
Lesson 3: It’s pretty cold at night in the mountains of Pennsylvania. Pack accordingly, and just remember that the night sky and the friends you’re with are worth it.
We woke early and geared up quickly. The game began at 9am—the night game had put us behind but not by much, and we were eager to catch up. I began walking the perimeter again, and engaged a Blue force that was coming up on our CP, but was quickly shot out, and watched helplessly as the Blues attacked our base. The VC inserted behind them, however, and began pushing them back up the hill. When I reinserted, I played perimeter guard on the side of the base, then joined a Red squad as it headed off for yesterday’s trails in the woods after the Blues. We encountered the VC, who was locked in a vicious battle with the Blues. We thought they were helping us out, and I paralleled them for a while, until they caught me watching. A hail of gunfire erupted in my direction, and I dove for the high grass in front of me. They couldn’t spot me, so one of them rushed my position, yelling “I’ll take care of this little problem!”
Little, I thought? To hell with this! I stood up and took great satisfaction in shooting him out before his teammates tagged me back.
I hiked back up the hill to our CP and reported to Doug and Barney the VC position. They sent me as a runner to find the Raiders on our left flank and plug the hole on the trail. I couldn’t locate them, however, and instead linked up with Red players back at the speedball court, finding out we were doing well on that trail anyway. We pushed Blue back with the aid of a LAW that was “blowing up” their bunkers and helicopters one at a time. I gave the LAW cover fire during their attacks, but was running low on paint. Matt rushed up as a medic, and was able to loan me a few pods. In the next rush I advanced to a forward position, but was too far up to be assisted by my fellow players and got caught in a cross-fire. I tried yelling “Medic!” but Matt was too far back to hear me, and Stiffmeister (not knowing I was hit) just kept yelling at me to shoot the Blue player right on the opposite side of my cover! I finally conceded my hit and walked back to the campsite. I had 3 pods of paint left, and wanted to save them for the final battle.
I finished packing up my campsite, then took a few pictures of the field. While packing up, I found out just before the lunch break that Brandon and the Red team had attacked and destroyed the Blue CP with satchel charges. That had to give us a few more points.
Patrick and I had a bite to eat, drank another liter of Gatorade, and geared up for the final battle. The Crows, Raiders and I met at the speedball field with the rest of Red, opposite the Blues. There were 5 flags at the center of the field that we had to protect.
Barney strong-armed his Red team on a right flank push, and we held the Blues back for half an hour at sudden death elimination. I set my Apex for maximum range, and I can’t remember a time when I’ve shot so many players in so little time. We soon held all 5 of the flags in the center, and took pot shots at the few Blue players remaining. Then everyone out reinserted once again for the last half hour of the battle, one of the most intense I’ve ever been in. Everyone could keep reinserting after getting hit this time around. The Blues rushed our positions over and over again, but the Reds were well-dug in and just kept pushing them back with overwhelming firepower each time. The Red Raiders kept me and the Crows loaded with extra paint, and I went back to fill my pods from Merc42 before going to the front line again to hold them off. When I ran out, I started shooting with what rounds I had left in my pistol, until finally the horn sounded.
We all walked exhausted back to the campsite, where we packed up our gear and took a few pictures of the ERSA. At the final ceremony, the EMR field announced that the Red team had won. There were prize giveaways and distinctions for the most valuable players and teams, while the rest of us roasted in the sun. I finally caravanned out with Matt, with the Star Wars Imperial March once again playing on his speakers; we had an early dinner at McDonalds before driving home together.
The weekend had been an intense and exhilarating paintball experience, well-seasoned by camping out (something I had sorely missed) and getting to know my fellow ERSA members much better. My greatest highlights were the Loaded Crows and Red Raiders for their hospitality, excellent food and even better friendship, and I can’t wait to do this again.
